Prepare by deciding what needs to change, gathering observable examples, and planning a private conversation that leaves room for the employee’s perspective. You cannot control whether a direct report becomes upset or defensive, but you can keep the discussion focused, respond calmly, and agree on what happens next.
1. Define the outcome you need
Before scheduling the meeting, write down the issue and the practical next step you want to reach. Is the purpose to clarify expectations, understand a pattern, address a specific incident, or agree on a change in work behavior? A useful outcome is concrete enough that both of you can tell what happens after the meeting.
Set boundaries for the conversation as well. Decide what you need to address, what is open to discussion, and which actions you may need to take. Acas advises managers to set boundaries and decide what action they will take when handling sensitive workplace conversations: Acas guide to challenging conversations.
2. Gather facts and specific examples
Bring examples that are observable and relevant to the issue: what happened, when it happened, and what effect it had on work, colleagues, or a commitment. Separate those facts from your interpretation of the employee’s motives or character. For example, describe missed agreed deadlines rather than calling someone “unreliable.”
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SHRM’s August 10, 2026 guidance on corrective feedback recommends collecting data and specific, observable examples, and focusing feedback on behavior, its impact, and actions to improve: SHRM’s corrective-feedback guidance. Use only examples you can explain clearly; a vague impression is not a sound basis for a constructive discussion.
3. Choose the right time and setting
Arrange a private, professional one-to-one conversation where you are unlikely to be interrupted. Address the issue promptly enough that the details are still clear, while allowing time to prepare and avoiding a rushed exchange. SHRM advises giving feedback as soon as reasonably possible.
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Tell the employee you want to discuss a work matter and give enough context for them to prepare, without trying to resolve the issue in an email or in front of others. Choose a time when you can listen attentively and leave room for a follow-up if the discussion requires it.
4. Make room for the employee’s perspective
Prepare questions, not just statements. You may have only part of the picture, and the employee may know about constraints, misunderstandings, or other context that changes how the issue should be addressed. Acas recognizes that workplace conversations can involve sensitive and emotive issues; SHRM’s guidance on difficult conversations recommends using questions to surface differing assumptions.
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Useful prompts include: “How do you see what happened?” and “Is there context I may be missing?” Listen to the answer before deciding what it means. Andrea Lee, quoted in SHRM’s March 4, 2020 article, suggests three questions for clarifying a difficult conversation: “Where are we now?”, “Where are we going?” and “How would we like to get there?” (SHRM’s article on handling difficult conversations.)
5. Plan your opening and how you will respond to emotion
Open plainly: explain why you requested the meeting, identify the specific issue, and state its impact on work. Keep your language focused on what happened and what needs attention. Avoid labels, threats, or a long preamble that leaves the employee unsure why you called the meeting.
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Plan to listen without interrupting and to keep your own tone steady if the employee cries, raises their voice, or becomes defensive. A strong reaction does not automatically mean the conversation must end. Continue if both of you can listen and discuss the issue clearly; pause and arrange another meeting if emotion makes productive discussion impossible. SHRM’s guidance on strong reactions recommends regrouping when needed: SHRM’s guidance on difficult feedback reactions.
Independent reader supportYour contribution helps us test, update, and keep practical guides available for everyone.6. Decide how to close and follow up
Prepare to finish with clear next steps rather than an unresolved criticism. Identify what action is expected, what support or resources may help, and when you will check in. Ask the employee to confirm their understanding and invite them to raise any remaining questions.
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Corrective feedback may take more than one conversation. SHRM advises managers to follow up rather than treating a single meeting as the end of the process. Afterward, record the agreed actions and check-in date in line with your organization’s normal practices, then revisit progress at the agreed time.
Quick Recap
Before the meeting: a quick preparation check
- I can state the issue and the outcome I am seeking.
- I have specific, observable examples and can explain their work impact.
- I have chosen a private time and place and can give the employee room to respond.
- I have planned a clear opening, a way to pause if needed, and concrete follow-up actions.
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