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This approach works across phone calls, texts, emails, pop-ups and social-media messages. It also keeps your parent involved and respected instead of treating age as the problem.
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Why this routine matters
Scammers try to create a situation in which the target reacts before thinking. The Federal Trade Commission (FTC) identifies three recurring elements in scams affecting older adults: an unexpected contact, pressure to act urgently and a demand for a particular payment method. A caller may claim to be a grandchild, bank employee, government investigator or technical-support agent. A text or email may say an account will be closed, a package is delayed or a refund is waiting.
The communication channel does not prove who sent it. Caller ID names and numbers can be spoofed, and the same impersonation tactics can arrive by phone, text, email or online message. A familiar voice is not conclusive either: the Consumer Financial Protection Bureau (CFPB) warns that artificial intelligence can make voice cloning and altered images more convincing.
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The goal is not to identify every possible scam from wording alone. It is to create enough time for an independent check. The FTC puts the principle this way: “Slow down and check it out. Scammers want to pressure you to act quickly. That way, you don’t have time to think or check out their story. So: slow down. Do some research. Talk to someone you trust before you do anything else.”
Start with a family no-rush agreement
Have this conversation when nothing is wrong, not while your parent is on a frightening call. Explain that the agreement applies to everyone in the family, including you. That makes it a normal household safety rule rather than a judgment about your parent’s memory or independence.
Use a simple promise
Agree that your parent will:
- end or pause any unexpected conversation involving money, account access or personal information;
- never keep a money request secret from family or another trusted person;
- verify the request using a phone number, app or website already known to be genuine;
- call a designated family contact before taking action; and
- accept that no legitimate emergency requires an immediate payment while a stranger remains on the line.
Give your parent permission to say, “I don’t make decisions on unexpected calls. I’ll contact the organization myself,” and hang up. If the caller objects to that delay, the objection is itself useful information.
Make help easy to reach
Choose one or two trusted contacts and save their numbers in the phone. Put the same numbers on a card near the computer and in a visible place at home. Decide what happens if the first person does not answer: your parent can call the second person, another relative or a trusted friend. The routine should work without requiring your parent to search through an unfamiliar message while under pressure.
Use an independent verification routine
Verification must happen outside the channel the unexpected contact controls. Hang up, leave the message unopened or close the pop-up first. Then use contact details you obtained earlier, not a number, email address or link supplied in the suspicious communication.
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If the caller claims to be a relative
- End the call without promising payment or revealing information.
- Call the relative at the number already saved in the phone.
- If that person does not answer, contact another family member or trusted friend who can check the story.
- Ask for an ordinary fact that is not publicly posted only after you have reached the relative through a known channel. Do not rely on a familiar-sounding voice alone.
A scammer may say, “My phone is broken; call this new number,” or insist that the family keep the emergency secret. Treat both requests as reasons to stop and verify elsewhere.
If the message claims to be from a bank, company or government agency
- Do not reply, click a link or call the number in the message.
- Use the number printed on a bank statement or payment card, or type the organization’s known web address yourself.
- Ask whether the alleged problem or transaction is real.
- Use only the organization’s normal secure sign-in process. Never read a one-time access code or password to an unexpected caller.
Government agencies will not direct someone to transfer funds to “protect” them, deposit cash into a Bitcoin ATM or hand cash or gold to a courier. A demand for an upfront fee or tax to claim a prize is another strong warning sign.
If an email or text mentions a computer problem
Do not call a number in an unexpected pop-up, text or email promising to remove a virus or restore an account. Close the window, disconnect from the conversation and contact the relevant company through a website or support number you already know. A security warning can be fabricated; the safe response is independent verification, not remote access or an urgent payment.
If the contact is a voice message, social-media message or missed call
The same rule applies. Do not return the call using the number displayed in the message. Look up the person or organization independently, or ask a trusted contact to help. A missed call creates no obligation to call back immediately.
Warning signs to teach without memorizing scripts
One clue may have an innocent explanation. Several together should end the interaction until it is verified.
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| Signal | What it sounds like | Safe response |
|---|---|---|
| Unexpected contact | “We detected a problem,” “Your grandchild needs help,” or “You have won.” | Stop and initiate contact through a known channel. |
| Urgency | “Pay in the next 10 minutes,” “Do not tell anyone,” or “Police are coming.” | End the conversation and consult a trusted person. |
| Unusual payment | Gift cards, cryptocurrency, wire transfer, cash courier, payment app or a transfer to another account. | Send nothing. Contact the claimed organization independently. |
| Requests for secrets or sensitive data | A password, Social Security number, account number, access code or remote-computer access. | Refuse and verify through a known number or website. |
| Instructions to move money for safety | “Transfer your savings to a safe account.” | Do not move the money. Government agencies do not give this instruction. |
| Resistance to checking | “Stay on the line,” “Do not call the bank,” or “Your family will interfere.” | Hang up. Pressure against verification is a reason to distrust the request. |
How to handle common scenarios
“Grandchild” or family-emergency calls
The caller may claim to be in jail, stranded, injured or unable to speak normally. They may bring another person onto the call as a supposed lawyer or police officer. Your parent should end the call and use a saved number to reach the relative. If the relative is unavailable, another family member can check. Never let a caller dictate secrecy or a payment deadline.
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An impostor may claim that an account is compromised, a warrant exists or a refund is waiting. Real institutions can be contacted independently. Your parent should not provide an access code, install software, surrender cash or transfer money because an unexpected contact says it will prevent a loss.
Prize, sweepstakes or inheritance requests
A request to pay taxes, fees or shipping charges before receiving a prize or inheritance is a warning sign. Do not send a “small” payment to unlock a larger one. Verify any legitimate claim using contact information found independently.
Computer-support impersonation
Unexpected pop-ups and calls may imitate security alerts. Closing the pop-up and contacting the company through a known route is safer than calling the displayed number. Do not grant remote access or read payment details to the person who initiated the contact.
Reduce unwanted contact without overpromising technology
Ask the phone carrier what call- and message-blocking options are available. Blocking may reduce some unwanted calls and texts, and your parent can hang up on unwanted callers and ignore unexpected texts rather than replying, pressing buttons or clicking links.
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Blocking is not authentication. It cannot prove that a caller is genuine, does not cover every email or social-engineering attempt and may not stop a scammer using a new number or account. Caller ID alone is never a verification method because names and numbers can be spoofed.
Set practical defaults
- Let unknown calls go to voicemail when possible.
- Keep message previews from displaying links or urgent requests on the lock screen if that reduces accidental taps.
- Mark suspicious messages as spam using the phone’s built-in reporting option, then delete them.
- Keep important contacts saved with clear names so a genuine callback is easy to find.
- Review blocking settings periodically with your parent; do not silently take over the phone.
What current FTC data says about reported losses
These figures describe consumer reports to the FTC, not all scam attempts or all older adults. They concern business and government impostor scams reported by older adults.
| Measure | Finding | Qualification |
|---|---|---|
| Reports with losses above $100,000 | Nearly sevenfold increase from 2020 to 2024 | FTC, 2025; combined reported losses in this category increased eightfold. |
| Reports with losses of at least $10,000 | More than fourfold increase from 2020 to 2024 | FTC, 2025; these are reported cases, not an estimate of prevalence. |
| Initial contact by phone | 41% | Among older adults reporting losses of at least $10,000 to business or government impostors in 2024. |
| Initial contact by email | 13% | Among the same 2024 report group. |
The percentages do not show that every phone call is more dangerous than every email, nor do they represent the share of all older adults who were scammed. They show why a family routine must cover more than one channel.
If your parent already replied, paid or shared information
Act quickly and focus on limiting further loss rather than assigning blame. Scammers often tell victims not to talk to anyone, so a calm response from family matters.
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- Stop contact. End the call, stop replying and do not send an additional payment to “reverse” or “recover” the first one.
- Contact the financial institution involved. Call the bank, credit union, card issuer, payment-app provider or wire service using a known number. Explain what happened and ask what can be stopped, recalled or secured. The CFPB says the institution may be able to recover money depending on the circumstances.
- Protect accounts. Change compromised passwords from a trusted device, starting with email because it can be used to reset other accounts. Ask the institution whether cards, account numbers or online access should be replaced.
- Preserve evidence. Keep messages, email headers when available, phone numbers, usernames, dates, times, payment receipts, transaction records and descriptions of what the caller said. Do not forward malicious links to other people.
- Report the scam to the FTC. A report helps investigators identify patterns and gives the agency information about reported losses.
- Report suspected elder financial abuse. Contact local Adult Protective Services (APS). If your parent faces immediate danger, call 911. For a non-urgent local report, consider the police or sheriff’s non-emergency line.
If personal information such as a Social Security number was disclosed, ask the affected organizations what additional account protections they recommend. Keep a written timeline so every institution receives the same facts.
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Keep the conversation respectful and repeatable
Scams exploit ordinary human qualities: trust, helpfulness, fear and the wish to protect family. Saying “How could you fall for that?” can make a parent hide the next incident. Instead, ask what happened, thank them for telling you and return to the agreed steps.
Practice before an emergency
Role-play one short call each month: a supposed grandchild asks for money, a bank requests an access code or a pop-up says the computer is infected. Let your parent practice saying, “I’ll call back using a number I already have,” and ending the interaction. Practice should build confidence, not test memory.
Review changes together
When a phone, email account or bank changes its security settings, review the change with your parent. Explain what a legitimate notification normally looks like and where the official contact information is found. Keep the parent involved in decisions about blocking, account alerts and trusted contacts.
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The FTC recommends adapting fraud-prevention messages to the audience and using trusted messengers. A parent may accept a plan more readily when it is framed as a family habit that protects everyone, rather than as a restriction imposed because of age.
Quick Recap
A one-page script your family can keep nearby
- Pause: “I do not act on unexpected requests.”
- Protect: “I will not send money, share a password or give an access code.”
- Verify: “I will contact the person or organization using a number or website I already know.”
- Consult: “I will talk with a trusted person before doing anything.”
- Report: “If money or information was involved, we will contact the institution and report it.”
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